Photo by Sarolta Bán |
"Look into my eyes," she said,
and her face peered down at him.
"I've come for help!" he cried,
as he slipped into a trance.
"No more negative thoughts," she purred,
Her voice; soft, mellifluous, persuasive.
His conscious mind blurring at the edges
His subconscious coming into sharp focus.
The session was over before he knew it,
"Is that all there is to it?" he asked.
"Next time could you remove your hat?
It's just a suggestion," she smiled.
© Marilyn Brindley
Taking part in Mag 107, with Tess, at Willow Manor. See how others have interpreted the photograph
Well, my focus was sharp! :D
ReplyDeleteI really liked it.
obscured
yes, what was he thinking, keeping his hat on in Her presence??
ReplyDeleteSometimes they do better with the hat on! lol
ReplyDeleteA lovely write.....and a nice twist at the end!
Mimi has that right! But I rarely sleep in mine...
ReplyDeleteCap-tivating!
ReplyDeleterel
This has got me thinking in film noir mode, for some reason. Very nice.
ReplyDeleteWell done. You have chosen the right words to express the picture and have for sure painted with words.
ReplyDeleteor maybe wear some tin foil so the mind control is blocked...ha....
ReplyDeleteExcellent! I've learnt a new word - 'mellifluous' I shall try and slip that in somewhere soon! I'm very impressed with your poetry.
ReplyDeleteLucy x
Awesome!..
ReplyDeleteJJRod'z
I like the funny, unexpected ending. Also, liked Brian's comment about the tinfoil hat, lol.
ReplyDeleteThe words in your poem flow as rhythmically as thought waves. I hope her suggestions are helpful. Thanks for sharing this, Little Nell.
ReplyDeleteHilarious Little Nell,
ReplyDeleteSometimes it's a bother, it can be intimidating. Great write!
Hank
Good piece!
ReplyDeleteWander
http://wanderwithoutbeinglost.blogspot.com
Excellent! Mellifluous is new to me too!
ReplyDeleteAnna :o]
A lot of fun! k.
ReplyDeleteLove to see a gal in control..funny, apt!
ReplyDeleteI like this - very succinct.
ReplyDeleteI really like this! Very clever!
ReplyDeleteMellifluous words, indeed... :)
ReplyDeleteThis was really fun...and smart..loved it.
ReplyDeleteI love the end.
ReplyDelete=)
Talk about being in control...and very funny too. Enjoyed this a lot!
ReplyDeleteI like the little surprise at the end...
ReplyDeletehaha, she is only looking for manners, and to get past that brim:)
ReplyDelete