Who are these spectres, simple charmers?
harmers
What demons cause this dreadful state?
hate
What do they use to soothe their troubled lives?
knives
Where do they mark and where inflict the harm?
the arm
What do they hope these actions will avoid?
a void
They cut and score their flesh to ease distress?
this stress
How do they feel then, something different?
indifferent
And when the trickling blood becomes a balm?
calm
© Marilyn Brindley
Reading today about Olympic champion Victoria Pendleton's history of self-harm, the story stayed with me when I saw these spectral shapes in the picture by Alfred Bloch; 'Summer Night 1913'. They looked like troubled souls and our recent 'Blue Moon' reminded me of the old belief that the balance of the mind could be affected by the moon (lunacy). Blue is a colour associated with sadness and these poor wraiths looks sad and somewhat numb. Perhaps relief came in the form of a knife.
I used an echo verse, where the last syllables of the main line are repeated but with a different meaning. It becomes a dialogue with the echo commenting on what has gone before. It was a popular device in poetry of the sixteenth-eighteenth centuries. A good example is 'Heaven' by George Herbert or 'A Gentle Echo on Woman' by Jonathon Swift.
This is a contribution for 'The Mag' where Tess Kincaid gives us a picture prompt to get our creative juices flowing.
Reading today about Olympic champion Victoria Pendleton's history of self-harm, the story stayed with me when I saw these spectral shapes in the picture by Alfred Bloch; 'Summer Night 1913'. They looked like troubled souls and our recent 'Blue Moon' reminded me of the old belief that the balance of the mind could be affected by the moon (lunacy). Blue is a colour associated with sadness and these poor wraiths looks sad and somewhat numb. Perhaps relief came in the form of a knife.
I used an echo verse, where the last syllables of the main line are repeated but with a different meaning. It becomes a dialogue with the echo commenting on what has gone before. It was a popular device in poetry of the sixteenth-eighteenth centuries. A good example is 'Heaven' by George Herbert or 'A Gentle Echo on Woman' by Jonathon Swift.
This is a contribution for 'The Mag' where Tess Kincaid gives us a picture prompt to get our creative juices flowing.
very cool form...and great call and response feel to it....a scary tale it spins....the moon lunacy but also the cutters that try to gain relief in the blood letting....to feel...all very real...
ReplyDeleteRemarkable how you turn out such delightful poesie each week, and so technically exact. Remarkable...
ReplyDeleteHello Marilyn:
ReplyDeleteSuch an effective poetic construction to convey your feelings on this most intimate and difficult of subjects. It is so very sad that some people feel the need to self-harm in order to address their emotional problems, thereby creating a vicious circle of events.
Your troubled souls will stay with me for a long time.
ReplyDeleteI like question format with the ending rhymes ~ Creative thoughts ~
ReplyDeleteInteresting form...it worked very well here...excellent!
ReplyDeleteLove the charm and intellect of this form, new to me..My poem's called Blue Moon, too..it had to happen!
ReplyDeletei like the different format of this with the question and answer..although the poem is sad..i didn't know this about victoria pendelton...shocking ...x
ReplyDeleteFresh and witty! The feel of repetition got me completely hooked.
ReplyDeleteOh my, your words certainly cut sharply through her darkness, and pain. Also, as I read it, I could feel your words could well explain someone using other means of destruction as well. I haven't heard of this form before, but again, you make me want to try it out myself! Marvelous post Marilyn.
ReplyDeleteYour poem is thought provoking ~~ well done!
ReplyDeleteTen of fifteen years ago, our school district was receiving new students from an area across the ocean that had an overabundance of girls who cut themselves. Your poem reminded me of the tragic sense of self that those girls endured, Little Nell, and they were barely teenagers!! The 'balm-calm' at the end drilled it home. For me, your poem is so powerful and heart wrenching. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteExtremely interesting, Nell. I like it very much and will look up other work that uses the same device. I'm rather surprised that I have never heard of it.
ReplyDeleteYou have captured so well the desperation of those many who self-harm. I like the poetry form, too.
ReplyDeleteIndeed there are Rivers of blood flowing at the feet if these dark demons, i only just noticed it. ! . Thanks, i really enjoyed this .
ReplyDeleteVery challenging topic yet wonderfully handled. Very moving. I also really enjoyed the air show RAF poem - enjoyed isn't right word - was moved by. k.
ReplyDelete