He asked that she would wear her short black dress,
to celebrate his birthday on the town.
The truth of course she’d never guess.
She knew at once she’d have to acquiesce;
he loved her in that sleek designer gown.
He asked that she would wear her short black dress.
And even though her life was such a mess,
the wine at least would make her sorrows drown.
The truth of course she’d never guess.
She’d don the slinky number nonetheless,
but wonder, as she did so with a frown,
why he’d asked that she should wear that short black dress.
She slipped the silky shift on with finesse,
remembering those words of ‘Golden Brown’,
The truth of course she’d never guess.
And she became at once the “fine temptress”,
she knew she couldn’t let her lover down.
He asked that she would wear her short black dress.
The truth of course she’d never guess.
© Marilyn Brindley
*LBD is shorthand for Little Black Dress, which every woman should have in her wardrobe. But of course you knew that.
‘Finer temptress’ appears in the lyrics of the classic, ‘Golden Brown’ by the Stranglers.
Taking part in ‘The Mag’ courtesy of Tess Kincaid, who gave us the image 'Yesterday’s Dreams’ by Jack Vettriano, as inspiration.
*LBD is shorthand for Little Black Dress, which every woman should have in her wardrobe. But of course you knew that.
‘Finer temptress’ appears in the lyrics of the classic, ‘Golden Brown’ by the Stranglers.
Taking part in ‘The Mag’ courtesy of Tess Kincaid, who gave us the image 'Yesterday’s Dreams’ by Jack Vettriano, as inspiration.
Lovely villanelle... they are challenging to write!
ReplyDeleteoh there is a bit of foreboding in this on what truth might be coming...the repetition does really well to build that as well....nice form...
ReplyDeletePerfectly crafted - as the LBD should always be, too!
ReplyDeleteps.......in complete coincidence, my friend Linda's hubby (Bongo) whom I've mentioned in my Mag is actually a friend of the band! Golden Brown is such a classic.
I love the repetition... it adds mystery!
ReplyDeleteWow! What happens, next, I wonder? This was awesome, Nell, and so was the video.
ReplyDeleteKathy M.
Nice form ... great dress ... so right, every woman needs one!!
ReplyDeleteMethinks I small a rat...
ReplyDeleteNice job with the form.
ReplyDeleteIntriguing write.
=)
Loads of layers in those words Marilyn. Sign of a good poem as far as I'm concerned.
ReplyDeleteI got/get the feeling he was going to dump her, for some reason. Unless he was going to ask her to marry him. Could be taken either way couldn't it.
ReplyDeleteNice cliffhanger :)
really done what your have done here.....nicely written and thanks for sharing
ReplyDeletefine V. Nell. I enjoyed reading your poem very much and imagining
ReplyDeletethe entire scene.
Excellent write!
ReplyDeleteWonderful villanelle! k.
ReplyDeleteI finally got a LBD ! does it help ? sometimes! :) Thanks for your poem and visit-
ReplyDeleteMarilyn this is a wonderful video, (now if he were asking me to wear a LBD oh yes!) Ha! Ha! Of course only if he promised to sing the night away! :) I really enjoyed your LBD poem, and you lured me so intently all the way to the end....and now I'm hoping for a closure, perhaps next week? Or with another fitting photo?!!! Great stuff....never a frown is so the way to be!
ReplyDeleteThanks Karen, but I don't know about a follow-up!! Why I should choose this week to have a go at writing a 'villanelle' I don't know. It was really hard as it follows a set rhyming pattern and is usually in iambic pentameter, which took ages (hence my late submission). Dylan Thomas' s 'Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night' is a famous example where it works really well. Have a go!!
DeleteWIth regard to the Golden Brown video, if you're not familiar with the classic song, there's another example on You Tube which is the one we always used to see on TV when the song was promoted. It's quite strange but well worth seeking out. There all sorts of theories as to what the 'golden brown' was from heroin to a seductive woman. Like our poetry it's open to interpretation I guess.
I love a mystery that won't be solved..so many odd possibilities..and repeat..
ReplyDeleteI love the rhythm and rhyme here- I can't guess here- a proposal or a dumping?
ReplyDeleteI am going for the former.
Impressive form...and not so easy to write as one might think...well done...
ReplyDeleteI love this villanelle! Well done, Little Nell. This has an old world sentiment and voice. You have managed a little mysterious magic too. Thank you for sharing this cleverly crafted work. It shines!
ReplyDeleteOh, I see by comments above that your fantastic piece is a villanelle. I am enchanted by the form every time I come upon it, but never realize that is what it is!
ReplyDeleteMy heart is kinda sinking for her. The evening may not turn out well?
Love that refrain.
ReplyDeletePowerful image of the cruel Patriarchy and its pathological attribution of its iwn undesirable characteristics to all things femine , the woman, the body , the earth. I should know, for i am a spawn of said Patriarchy , thanks for helping me with my own self loathing, i feel happy now !
ReplyDeleteI hope the truth was that he asked her to marry him and she turned him down.
ReplyDeleteNot an easy poem to write, you did well.
The Stranglers would have felt very much at home with the rhythm of this piece, Nell.
ReplyDeleteBrilliantly done!...
ReplyDeleteJJRod'z