Image by Musin Yohan |
Treading the fields, she wears her heavy load,
As light as any garment on her form,
The sun is up, the air is close and warm,
The dust and stones lie thick upon the road.
Swatting a fly, her footsteps now are slowed,
She scans the sky and smells the gathering storm,
Treading the fields, she wears her heavy load,
As light as any garment on her form,
Reading the signs that Heaven has showed,
She prays that God a miracle will perform;
Send rains to make the hard, dry earth transform,
Where once a rushing river flowed.
Treading the fields, she wears her heavy load.
© Marilyn Brindley
This is my first attempt at a 'rondel'. It's an old French fourteenth century form, and written in English from the fifteenth century. I do like to give myself an extra challenge by writing to a form sometimes, but this one has several variants. In the end I went with this one; three stanzas, a two-line refrain (A, B) where the whole lines are repeated in each stanza; thirteen lines on the following rhyme scheme: 1.A, B, b, a 2. a, b, A, B 3. a, b, b, a, A.
The image is from Tess Kincaid who posted it on The Mag to inspire poets and writers to be creative. Follow the link to see what others have made of it.
Beautiful mastery of this most difficult form ....
ReplyDeleteI love the repetition of the 'treading' line ... it works so well with the constant perseverance required of agricultural work ...
ReplyDeleteI've never had a stab at a rondel, Nell. Couldn't get out of the blocks with this prompt, but you've managed to produce something special.
ReplyDeleteAll that potential water, i enjoyed the tension, yearning , uncertainty of this ....... Thanks
ReplyDeleteSo much like a Pantoum, the repetition increases the power and life of this...so strong!!
ReplyDeleteLovely and musical!
ReplyDeleteThe essence of the prompt picture is captured well here. It is the most fitting I have read so far.
ReplyDeleteI have only attempted this format once. You have done a lovely job not only with the format, but with capturing the mood of the picture. Thoroughly enjoyed this piece.
ReplyDeleteI love form poetry. I like studying how the form contributes to the meaning. I like noticing when a poet adheres to or breaks the form momentarily. The mood of your poem matches the mood of the prompt picture perfectly, but without the picture I would have read the "heavy load" as some big worry, not an actual load. Both interpretations work, and that enriches the poem.
ReplyDeletevery moody- you envisioned this nicely.
ReplyDeleteI think repetition draws more power to it. lovely write.
ReplyDeleteAnd very well it works, too! :)
ReplyDeleteYour words make even me, feel her heavy load. Lovely.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful poem in such a difficult form...kudos!
ReplyDeleteWell done with this. You certainly set yourself a challenge for this prompt and well executed.
ReplyDeleteYour poem complements the photo well. The form you chose lent an urgent note to her prayer. :-)
ReplyDeleteI love the word 'rondel' ....it implies a dance, somehow ...a step, a re-step ... It is simple, yet full of elegance. Beautiful.
ReplyDelete